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“I Feel Asleep!” (Metal Gear)

Later Metal Gear games would become famous for their deep and dense dialogue.

The NES version of the first game, though, has plenty of unforgettably bad mistranslations, including this classic guard statement: “I feel asleep!”

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“Flash the toilet” (Tamagotchi)

Simply remembering that Game Boy had its own Tamagotchi game is weird enough. Weirder still is the mistranslation telling me “to flash the toilet.”

Newsflash, dude: we flash the toilet every time we use it. (So I guess it isn't technically incorrect.)

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“Victoly!” (Samurai Showdown)

Sometimes a mistranslation is funny because they screwed up something simple, other times it's just because it gets repeated. Samurai Showdown does both by frequently spelling “Victory” as “Victoly.”

Unless of course the font designer just forgot to make an 'R,' in which case someone still probably got fired.

5

“A Winner Is You” (Pro Wrestling)

When is encouragement not really encouragement? Well, that’s when games like Pro Wrestling give us gibberish platitudes like “a winner is you.”

In Russia though, this mistranslation is actually correct.

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“Your fists of evil are about to meet my steel wall of niceness.” (Fatal Fury Special)

The fighting game genre is a treasure trove of weird and hilarious mistranslations (and weird in jokes like Mortal Kombat's "toasty!").

We’re particularly fond of this garbled set of metaphors from Fatal Fury Special, which sound like a bad fortune cookie.

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“All Your Base Are Belong To Us” (Zero Wing)

In some ways, “all your base are belong to us” is the most famous game mistranslation.

That’s because this bit of insane Zero Wing dialogue has become the subject of countless memes, viral videos, and funny remixes.

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“A year has passed since Bimmy and Jimmy defeated the Shadow Warriors.” (Double Dragon III)

If we’re being honest, later Double Dragon games didn’t have much to offer the franchise. Double Dragon III, however, had hilarious mistranslations, including one that gave the protagonist Billy a different name.

According to U.S. census data, one in five kids in the '90s were actually named Bimmy, if you can believe that.

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“And proved the justice of our culture.” (Ghostbusters)

Believe it or not, some people actually beat that terrible Ghostbusters video game on the NES.

I don’t know what’s worse: the quality of this translation or the audacity to charge people money to play something that was written by a drunk guy.

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Resident Evil: "Revelaitons"

It may seem mean spirited to cherry pick a funny mistranslation or two from games with so many lines of dialogue. But what if a mistranslation is the first thing a gamer sees?

Whoever was in charge of quality control at Nintendo when they released this for the DS can't be working there anymore.

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“I am error” (Zelda II)

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link was a side scrolling departure from the original title.

It forced you to interact with various denizens of Hyrule. But this dumb bastard can do nothing but sit there and tell you “I am error.”

Maybe he was speaking for the entire game?

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“Congraturation! This story is Happy End! Thank You.” (Ghosts ‘N Goblins)

There are people who beat Ghosts ‘N Goblins, and we can only assume they had either infinite patience or infinite quarters.

But even winners feel like losers when they see a translation like this one here. This story is NOT happy end.

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"I Never Thought I'd Be Frying Over A Jungle" (Aero Fighters 2)

NeoGeo games had plenty of weird mistranslations, but this may have been the most consistent.

Does this also sound like an offensive East Asian accent? Yes. Does that help us make any sense of it? Of course not.

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“What a polite young man she was!” (Mega Man Battle Network 4: Red Sun)

The Mega Man Battle Network series was surprisingly fun, but some of the dialogue was surprisingly bad.

This typo is so small though it makes you wonder if the translator put it in as a joke.

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“Shine Get” (Super Mario Sunshine)

Thanks to its Nintendo Switch re-release, a new generation of gamers get to enjoy this mistranslation from Super Mario Sunshine.

I like to think this is how Mario really talks and his other lines must be like “mushroom get," “princess get," and "your pipes I fix."

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“Welcome to die!” (X-Men)

The only thing that can make a mistranslation funnier is hearing it out loud. That's what happened with the X-Men arcade game, which proudly blurted out insane lines such as “welcome to die.”

It's not worse than a lot of comic book dialogue, and when you think about it, it sounds a little badass.